So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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