Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
