May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
