I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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