I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We're using joints as your birthday candles
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
