Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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