If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
