Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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