are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
