I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
