Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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