The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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