two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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