Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
