capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
