i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You made out with two different species that night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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