Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
