I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
