i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
