There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
