its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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