Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
