i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
