If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
