Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
