need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
