Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Your tits are I can't wait for
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
