So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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