there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
