sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
