just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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