If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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