I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
