Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
