sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I want her autograph on my taint
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
