don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
