Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
