So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
