glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
