so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
