I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
