I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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