We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
