Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
