i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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