Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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