I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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