and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
