what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
