operation harelip BJ is a go
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My life is pants optional.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
