Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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