love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
