no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
