you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
