kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
